Looking forward.

There are not many reasons I can collect to reflect that losing sleep is good.

BUT

Do you know what the greatest feeling is?  

Waiting to embark on a journey. Perhaps the night before, or the day before.  You sit and stare at that clock.    You know the clock I'm talking about.  You become suddenly aware of how loud it ticks, and the rhythm at which the ticks sequence. And, for the first time in a while, the minutes pass slowly, and the day seems to drag.  You tap your feet, check the clock, and begin to notice small things that on a regular day, you might not attribute any attention to.  Every sense becomes acute as you impatiently await an hour late enough to go to bed, and wake up to your destination; the start of your new memory. 

It feels reminiscent of younger days when everything was something to look forward to and worries were small and easily forgotten. 

There is something 

truly 

magical 

about looking at a date, and knowing that on that particular date, you are going to make something great happen.  That by the time you reach the box on your calendar that directly follows the particular date you are so desperately itching to reach, you will have something new to store in your heart and mind that you could possibly tell your grandchildren about, or feel it worthy of writing down one day.  

Knowing that there will be something exuberant

or dangerous

or exciting

or new 

or life changing

or wonderful that comes out of it.  We love finding reasons to look forward to things; to occupy our thoughts so that we may find something fresh and unfamiliar and blissful to dwell on and relieve us of any negatives that bully our minds. 

That is what makes being this age so great.  We are always looking forward to SOMETHING.  We naturally find things.  Its a great instinct we pick up, and a lucky ability to have.  We hold this utter appreciation for the tiny moments, the potential for something to be great, and the ability to fully experience something new.  We have the glorious opportunity to say "what the hell" and "why not" and fully, 100% absorb the spontaneity of our situations.  

That is what I live for. 

 Saying yes because I have no reason to say no.  

It can be hard to give up that control.  But there is nothing more wild and refreshing and invigorating than going along for the ride, with no ability to cap your outcome or temptation to pull back.  Its freeing, and an excellent reminder that we are free and destined to roam and explore.  How amazing, right?  

So here's to this great feeling.  This giddy, hug a pillow, constantly check my watch, feeling that I hope everyone experiences because it is one of very few feelings that I personally have collected that is absolutely worthy of losing sleep.