There was no comfortable way to
start this conversation. I have
instigated this talk hundreds of times, yet it never seems to get any
easier. She’d been standing there for
about thirty minutes so far. It usually takes
a few hours to digest, but for others, it can take days. But not this one. She was already looking around, trying to
figure out how this all happened. I
could tell she had questions, and I was here, ready to answer them.
I made my way towards the girl, who
couldn’t have been older than 17. She looked
from the grave marker to me, then fixed her eyes back on the stone. I put my hands in my pockets as I stood next
to her.
“Do you know where you are?” I
asked.
She crossed her arms and looked
over to me. Her eyes were piercing, and
her voice was sharp.
“It doesn’t take a genius to figure
it out,” she snapped.
“Listen here,” I began “I know
you’re angry and confused. I don’t need you to like me, but I need you to be
civil if we are going to get you out of here.”
Like a dam breaking, her sorrow broke through
her façade and she collapsed. Her
shoulders slumped like someone had just sat on them, and her face turned the
color of ice. I slowly moved down to her
level, and hesitantly moved my hand to her back. Administering tough love was not unusual in
this line of work.
“Why are
you here?” she sobbed desperately.
“I am here
to help with the…process. I help put you
on the “see the light” express and get you the hell out of here. That’s pretty much my job description in
full, kid. I hate to ask, but you know
that you’re… well, you know that you…”
“Yes. I know.
Must we really discuss it so bluntly?”
“No. As long as you know. But you should know, it
was a car accident. Drunk driver. It isn’t right, but it is reality. Now I’m
going to be square with you because I can tell you’ve got a fighting spirit and
tough skin. You’re in Segway. It’s a
transition point before you “move on.” The
quicker you can accept and reconcile, the quicker you can get out of this cold,
god forsaken corpse farm and get on to brighter, happier and warmer eternities. Do you get it? Now, what can I do to help you?”
I could see panic take over her
face. She spoke aggressively at me.
“Well why
haven’t you moved on? Why are you stuck
here? It doesn’t make sense that
everyone else is getting out of here while you’re stuck here just pointing in
the right direction.”
I bowed my head. These were not the kind of questions I was accustomed
to answering. But it was my job to take
care of business, so I did what I had to in order to calm them down, and move
them on.
“Well, I’ve been here for 72 years
as of last month. I was in the mob when
I… was in the flesh. Believe it or not,
I was a real bulldozer of sorts. I never
let anything or anyone get in the way of my job if it meant a big payday. The guy who did this job before me said it
was a bank robbery, which didn’t really surprise me. It took a 3 million dollar job, a standoff
with the cops and one fatal gunshot. I
ended up working Segway because sure, I did some bad things, but th- the Big Man
said he saw potential in me. I wasn’t
the typical candidate for “the great beyond” but I’m a good business man. By that, I mean I take care of business, and don’t
ask questions. So when the Big Man
suggested I take this job, I did just that.”
Her face got red and began screaming
at me, fervently waving her arms, no calmer after I responded.
“So what’s in it for you then? You don’t get money or jewels or whatever
dazzling compensation it is you got before… this. So tell me the real reason tough guy, why is the
Big Man having you do his dirty work for him and you’re so damn cool with being
pushed around?”
I stopped for a moment, and
pondered this. I had never really
considered this before.
“I guess it’s because I’m filling a
void I didn’t know I had in my flesh life.
This kind of work gives me an emotional compensation, rather than a
monetary compensation you know? It
seemed like a good way to find forgiveness, and maybe get a second chance.”
She dropped
her arms to her side, and smiled at me.
Lightning began to crack and the clouds began to open up. I jumped to my feet at looked to the
girl. I felt that familiar rush of pride
and excitement, like she was my kid taking her first steps. She was ready to be sent on.
“You ready to go?” I asked kindly.
“It looks like it’s your time.”
“No actually, I’m not quite. And it
isn’t. It’s yours, and it’s a long time
coming.”
This had to be a joke. I wasn’t destined to go on. I became immediately annoyed that she would
waste time like this. Her window to go
on would be closing if she didn’t go now.
“What on earth are you talking
about?” I barked.
“I want a taste of that do good
business you were talking about. I wasn’t
exactly grateful in my… flesh life either, so I made the same deal with the Big
Man you did and on one condition. If I
could help you on without you knowing it, I could stay. And it looks like I did.” She beamed at her accomplishment, and began
to push me towards the light.
I looked to the sky as it opened
up, and for the first time, it was me that felt the warmth of the light on my
face. I looked to the girl in shock. “I-I don’t understand,” I stuttered.
She just smiled and shook her head
as I dissipated into the glow.
.K SG C.
